Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
