Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
