Fuck appropriateness.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
