He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
