I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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