I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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