me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
