Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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