Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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