At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
