maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
