Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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