I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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