is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
