I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
