Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
