I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
