I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
tequila makes me forget i have legs
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
