whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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