omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
