ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
