peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
