Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
