Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
