What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
