Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize