I wish I could punch you in the face.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
