Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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