In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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