Yo dont text me then not text me
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
