I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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