I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
