32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
