Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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