why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
