i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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