he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
