I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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