I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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