Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
is it fun? or sober?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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