Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
