I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
