...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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