There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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