Dual....:-)
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
