She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
