i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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