she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
