Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
