So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
