Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
